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 spoken words unheard of in other worlds      20824 Pages Read

I've went through all of them ten times over
You arguing
Me judging
Coz you can't stop accusing
Me of using you
Me losing it
You choosing
To abuse
All the advantages you have over me
Confusing me
Times I cried
Swallowed the urges to cry again
And tried
To jump out of the car with you speeding across town
Coz I had no choice
Even though I felt like choosing
The highway than sharing
You with all of them
And then losing
My mind
Only to find that you've already chosen
Only now that reality has awoken
Inside me
Do I feel like it's been all stolen
I've went through all of them
Me arguing
Denying what I feel
Just to make you stay real
Pushing my freedom aside
Just so you could fly free
Calling myself all kinds of names
Coz I knew you hated me
Time and time again I'd scroll up
And it would feel like only now have I woken up
My heart has been broken
Yet I stash away that thought at the back of my mind
Coz I want you to see
What you saw before
What you saw in the beginning
What you saw the first time when you saw me
Hand shaking
Heart breaking
Pages and pages of emotions
On just how much my heart's aching
I scrolled back down
With a frown on my face
I created a place
Not behind the melody
On my headphones
Not in the awkwardness of hearing myself humming
Not behind my desk at work
Not in my diary where nobody can see
But in between the lines of these messages...
:(
04/03/2013 


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